disappointment comes as a rush sometimes. i think everyone needs disappointment at least once in a while. bring you back down from that cloud you're sitting on.

job job work.

hey soul sista

is everything okay?
"yeah everything is fucking SPLENDA"

lululululululololololololossssssing it

just once i'd like to hear you say

"i want you here"

I don't know the difference. or maybe i can't feel the difference. maybe it's when i was leaving his house that i felt it creep up on me. a sense of unhappiness. a prick in my spine. a tingle on the tongue, or maybe the numbness in my knees. it's like my eyes were clouded over with creepy.

i should consider them insignificant, but i can't. there are some things that cannot be ignored.

maybe we shouldnt fight.

you were always there to listen, even if you couldn't understand. your words were harsh, but you didn't know any other way. it doesn't take but a second for you to say "what's wrong" when you hear the slightest tone of doubt in my voice, that's if you don't already know what the situation is. i know you aren't the best at giving advice or compassion in some circumstances, and your understand ability isn't exactly top notch, but it's just the fact that you've always tried to improve everything so that i am comfortable just a little. i asked you to care, and you started to kiss my forehead more. i asked you to try to understand, you began to just shut up and listen. i asked you to be more affectionate, and you grabbed my hand in a moments notice. it doesn't matter the size of the step but that is was taken for me. and since these times, they have only become larger.

all it took was me plus you to make an us.

It's easy to say that there are 4 categories of girls. Those that lack confidence, those that have fake confidence, those that have too much confidence, and those that are just comfortable with themselves. I think what a lot of teenage girls lack is confidence. It surprises me sometimes on how they constantly nit pick at themselves. I am happy to say that I was never that way. At least not about the way I looked. I have always been moderately happy with myself. Of course, like any other girl, I wore makeup, but never large amounts of it. Mostly just some powder and mascara will do. I really like eye lashes. I don't think what they've ever understood is that most guys seem to like confidence in their girls. I've learned this over the years (mostly during middle school), but that a guy just doesn't want to have to deal with a girl that doesn't think highly of herself, or at least have a bit of confidence. That's too much baggage, in my opinion, but I think a lot of people can agree with that to some extent. Then there are some that have fake confidence. Those that will bravely state they are fully confident in themselves but demand acceptance from every person they meet. Those are your social chameleons that insist they blend into their environment. I don't mean wear camouflage and roam the land, but will perk their appearance to whatever genre of people they may come into contact with. They DEMAND that they are up to date with the art or music these people talk about. These are often the girls that throw themselves out into romance, and are constantly puppy dog eyed in the streets looking for mr. perfect. They are also the ones that settle. They lower their standards so that they can just have some bit of affection. They do this and still claim their independence and confidence is at an all time high. Some girls on the other hand have too much confidence. They become elitist. They set their standards too high and become bitter when they don't get exactly what they want. They are your cat ladies. They are probably the ones with the up to date fashion, cars, books, everything. They are also the teases. The ones that hold themselves as some kind of an award to be won. You feel like you've almost got it, and as soon as you think you are able to touch it, they yank it away from you within the blink of an eye. Last, are your comfortable girls. These are usually the ones you find to be most relaxed in an environment of people. They aren't necessarily going up to everyone in the room, but they aren't exactly shy either. They are comfortable in their skin, and yet still remain modest. They hold themselves to be like everyone else, equal, yet with their own spark at the same time. They are not an elitist, but do set a high standard, one that could be met. They aren't hard to find because they're usually your best friend. I only thought about this because of the conversation I had with my friend the other night. It really got me thinking about girls. Personally, I've never really had close girl friends. There has only ever been one. She comes and go's though. I always had more fun hanging out with guys, but with a boyfriend that is merely impossible. And that is fine by me. I don't complain at all. Thus is life.

what is love to me?

love is waking up and being able to handle their morning breath.

it's simple.
it's explainable.
it's a verb.
its not an emotion.
it's a movement.
not just an expression.
you cannot feel love.
you can only give and receive it.
it's simple.

i've had this feeling for a long time. i'm never giving up on it.

im never giving up on it.

its trashy for girls to smoke cigarettes
so i guess im compost
i dont give a fuck, i will do what i do and keep doing it
SORRY SOCIETY.